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Nidae213
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Joined: Oct 10, 2006
Posts: 59
Location: Viginia Beach, VA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

lol.

Sativa.... good, good. My preference is with this one.



*pauses* Did you know that sativa is included in the spell check? I fat fingered the keyboard on an extra 'a' and discovered this nifty factoid. Interesting...
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kribz
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

cool up! Cool
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doxter101
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Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 32
Location: Mt. Everest, Tibet

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:04 am    Post subject: hell yeah! Reply with quote Back to top

bill clinton died and went to hell
he was hapilly greeted by satan....
Satan: i will give you 3 choices on where you will spend your eternity...
(and showed him 3 doors)
(bill peeked at the 1st door) (he saw a person being wipped by a wip with thorns)
Bill: no way i gonna spend my eternity there.
(satan then showed him the 2nd door)
(Bill saw a person being shoved in the ass with a pineapple, with the leaves)
Bill: no way, not that way.
(finally satan showed him the third door)
(Bill peeked at the last door and saw Tony Blair b**wj***ed by Monica Lewinsky)
Bill: Now that's the door for me...
Satan: Are you sure? there's no turning back...
Bill: as sure as the sun sets.....
Satan: well then, (shouts) HEY! Monica, get out of there, somebody's here to replace you..... Lol Lol Lol Lol Eek
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zipr
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Posts: 4

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 1:22 pm    Post subject: talk about bad jokes.. Reply with quote Back to top

. that was just plain sik. and no i am not a clinton fan
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Nidae213
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Joined: Oct 10, 2006
Posts: 59
Location: Viginia Beach, VA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

How so?

I see nothing wrong with the joke?

It's considered a dirty or off color joke. And I belive you have to be and adult to be on this site. So if the joke bothers you, what was the point of replying to the thread? Just so other's would know you don't approve of someone else's humor? A waste of time I would presume.

Either way, I'll post a joke my grandfather told me back when I was in middle school. I found it amusing, as I hope you will.


Daryl Johnston and Barry Coleman were friends since they were small children. Daryl was always doing something artsy while Barry was the rough and tumble boy, always, scraping a knee or coming home covered in dirt. As they grew up together, they attended the same schools. They got to watch each age and become young men. Daryl watched Barry get married and have children and join the Army. Barry got to watch Daryl go through two marriages and several girlfriends.

As they started to grow into middle age, Barry's kids were growing up and Daryl had entered a musical career writing music for various performers. Daryl became very famous through his middle and finally found a wife. He married, but never had any kids as he saw Barry and his children quite often. On their off time through their life, they spent it in a cecmetary local to them. In it, towards the far east end, there was an ancient oak tree. They had climbed it several times in their childhood, had picnics with their friends, and even made out under the tree. Barry even broke his arm falling out of it when they were 10.

As their life started to head for the golden years, Barry's wife passed and his kids were grown, leaving the old man alone with Daryl. Daryl had gotten divorced again and his music career bloomed even more so in his older age. On an evening out, Barry and Daryl went to go see one of the plays that Daryl had written the musical score to. It was a marvelous sound and sight. Barry never knew how well Daryl wrote music.

After the show, they stopped for coffee at a local shop and talked about the play. While drinking their coffee, Daryl suddenly gripped his chest and started to complain about sharp pain and his left arm going numb. The ambulance was called and rushed Daryl and Barry to the hospital. Daryl spent a few hours in the hospital, bed ridden and in a very weak state. Barry held his hand and they talked about everything. Daryl told Barry that the play had been written and composed for Barry as a tribute to his best friend.

Barry cried for the first time in decades, not only for the honor and kindness bestowed from Daryl, but also for Daryl. Shortly after, Daryl had passed with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face.

Two days from Daryl's death, Barry had arranged to have Daryl buried under the great oak that they had spent so much time under. Daryl's wives, some of his illigetiment children, Barry, Barry's children, and several others attended the funeral. There was even some minor media coverage of the famous composer. A small quartet played a small piece of music that Daryl had written years past as they lowered him into the ground.

After the funeral, Barry sat by the grave for a few hours saying good bye to his dearest friend. He recited a poem that he had written and meant to share with Daryl, but it had been too late. Barry laid his white lilies on the ground neard the headstone and headed home.

Barry came back several time over the next few weeks to sit under the tree and talk with his friend. Barry had started drinking and his life started to decline and he only felt comfortable talking to Daryl's grave.

One afternoon, while Barry was rambling about some lady in the bar the night before, he heard an odd noise coming from near Daryl's headstone. Thinking he'd gone mad, he got closer to the headstone. There! There was that noise again. Barry sat back, thinking that he'd lost it. Looking about, he saw the cemetery ground's keeper digging out a soon to be filled plot. Barry rushed over to him and explained what had just transpired.

The ground's keep came out of the fresh grave and came to listen to the noisy headstone. Leaning down and placing an ear on the ground, the ground's keeper chuckled. Barry looking at him as if he had gone mad anxiously asked what he had heard. He told him that he had heard something like music, but he couldn't being to think a dead man was making any noise. Barry leaned down then to listen to the strange noise. Barry listened for sometime. It sounded oddly familiar. Looking back up to the ground's keeper, he said it indeed sounded like music, but backwards of all things.

At that point, the ground's keeper looked at the headstone and read Daryl's name from it. He asked Barry if this was the famous music writer that was locally born. Barry nodded, his eyes wide and bloodshot. The ground's keeper slapped his knee and laughed hardily. "Fear not, my friend." He stated. "He just decomposing!"


Very Happy Now, that's a good one.
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doxter101
Vonage Forum Junior
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Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 32
Location: Mt. Everest, Tibet

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 4:55 pm    Post subject: cool Reply with quote Back to top

catchy! nice one though, you gotta have a sense of humor to get the punchline....
Headbang
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Nidae213
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Joined: Oct 10, 2006
Posts: 59
Location: Viginia Beach, VA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Thank you. My grandfather was into long winded jokes because it would keep someone's attention and anticipating the punchline. And once the punchline was delivered, most people never forgot the joke and went on to tell it themselves because of the wait and the memory and experience of waiting for something so horrible simple and funny. I've got tons of jokes like that, but quite a few would violate the boards rules. I never said my grandfather told mainly clean jokes... Wink
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zipr
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Joined: Nov 01, 2006
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:18 am    Post subject: the new joke Reply with quote Back to top

now that was a good joke
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kribz
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Joined: Sep 19, 2006
Posts: 50

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Try this!


A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Eek Lol Very Happy
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doxter101
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Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 32
Location: Mt. Everest, Tibet

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 5:17 pm    Post subject: wahahahaha Reply with quote Back to top

that was a good one.....
got me a nice laugh...
keep it comin'
Lol Lol Lol Lol
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